Coping with Change
Change is constant, but it's how you deal that matters.
When one thinks of fall, the thought of change often comes to mind. To me, fall is not just a season of change, it’s a season of letting go.
A dear friend of mine is leaving town tomorrow to begin a new job in a new city. He and I were close for a good part of the past year, but a terrible dispute last month shattered our relationship. I’m genuinely happy for him, but at the same time I’m realizing that I need to let him go.
Easier said than done.
Weeks ago, he said to me, “I love you enough to let you go.” Since losing him, those eight words have resonated with me over the last few weeks.
Autumn is a season of transition and change. The leaves are turning bright, fiery reds and golds, and tumbling to the ground. The weather is getting colder. And, on Halloween, we try on someone else’s persona for a day.
Some big changes in my life have occurred this fall. Not only have I been coping with this loss, I have also been adapting to the rigors of a weekend graduate degree program, including the challenge of waking up before 7:30 a.m. on Saturday mornings. (Now, that is something I will never get used to. Sleep is a precious commodity to any journalist.)
So how am I coping with all this change? I’m taking advantage of the cool weather and spending time outdoors in good company. I’m trying to follow my friend (yogi and Patch blogger) Johanna’s advice to set aside a few minutes per day to reflect on my day. I’m also listening to music that inspires me to live in the moment, songs that include:
- “Either Way” by Wilco
- “Motion Sickness” by The Paper Raincoat
- “Windows Are Rolled Down” by Amos Lee
- “Time Lapse Lifeline” by Maria Taylor
Sometimes we fight change, but we give in to it. We adapt, and we let events unfold. I will adapt to the loss of my friend to his new life in New York, in due time. He was the first new friend I made when I moved to D.C. more than a year ago, and I will always remember the memories we shared in this city over the last year. I will let him go, albeit with sadness, and I will move through this season bearing this thought in mind: “Be here now.”
Be here now. Live in the moment. Embrace it. Capture it in your mind. While some friendships and relationships don't last, memories live on forever.
And we can hear, we can hear, the first beat to the flatline
I’m keeping up, keeping up with the time lapse lifeline.
-Maria Taylor, “Time Lapse Lifeline.”
Joseph
10:34 am on Monday, October 24, 2011
Nice post, Jessie...and very moving. I can totally relate. As a member of the Armed Forces, I fully understand the difficulty, yet the necessity, of change and of letting go. I'm 50 years old, and am realizing the older I get the more difficult change becomes. However, coping with change as I grow older, seems to be getting easier. Each change, each heartbreak, each lesson learned, brings with it new coping mechanisms and a renewed resolve to embrace that change rather than to let it defeat me. (PS: I'm the Soldier/Writer you met at Chevy's a couple of weeks ago. Thank you for introducing me to Patch and to nanowrimo.org. Totally awesome!!) Keep me posted.. :-)
Jessie Biele
1:32 pm on Thursday, October 27, 2011
Thanks Joseph! Thank you for your insight.
Leslie Perales Loges
2:38 pm on Thursday, October 27, 2011
My favorite quotes/lyrics are about change and coping with change, both good and bad.
“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” - Arnold Bennett
"All right don't worry, even if things end up a bit too heavy, we'll all float on all right." -Float On, by Modest Mouse
When I first moved here I had $900 to my name, no job, student loans to pay and my car had a cracked head gasket. I listened to "Float On" on repeat for weeks. It's still one of my favorite songs and has a lot of meaning for me. Any time I'm having a hard time I go back to it. Breathe deep and float on, friend.
Kari Wright Warren
6:07 pm on Thursday, October 27, 2011
Jessie,
Here is my favorite quote about change...written by a student at Radford University:
"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."
~ Luke Addison