This piece on 'Normal Gardeners' (NG) versus 'Obsessed Gardeners' (OG) offers guidelines for determining which side of the perennial bed you fall into. I know I'm not Normal; what about you?  

• Normal Gardeners:  You won't leave town when your tulips are in bloom...
• Obsessed Gardeners:  ... or your daffodils, your azaleas, your lilacs, your wisteria, your roses, your clematis, your lilies, your hydrangeas ...  

• NG:  You invest in fine gardening tools.
• OG:  You keep spare tools in your car for gardening emergencies.  

• NG:  You have a compost heap.
• OG:  You take its temperature every day.  

• NG:  You know the virtues of hand weeding.
• OG:  You've weeded after dark with your miner's lamp hat.  

• NG:  You can't believe you ordered so many bulbs this fall...
• OG:  ... and yet, you're still not sure you have enough.  

• NG:  You know the Latin names of your plants.
• OG:  You use them in conversation.  

• NG:  You love to grow and cook your own vegetables.
• OG:  You have piles of vegetables rotting in your kitchen because you don't have the time or energy to cook.  

• NG:  You have given vegetables to your friends.
• OG:  You have broken into stranger's cars and filled them with zucchini.  

• NG:  You can crush a Japanese beetle with your bare hands.
• OG:  You love the sound it makes when you do. 

• NG:  You have dirt under your fingernails.
• OG:  What fingernails?  

• NG:  You've had a soil test.
• OG:  You studied for it.  

• NG:  Someone says you have Plant Acquisition Syndrome.
• OG:  You take it as a compliment.  

• NG:  You buy well-composted cow manure to top-dress your garden.
• OG:  You buy a cow.  

• NG:  You teach your children the wonders of gardening.
• OG:  You forgot to have children.  

• NG:  You love gardening more than anything ...
• OG:  ... and you hate gardening more than anything (sometimes!).  

Nancy Burns is a Certified Master Gardener, Belle Haven Garden Club President for the past six years, co-author of two gardening books, and completely obsessed with gardening.