Finally, no more campaign commercials!  I now look forward to watching my old favorites, like the one where the emasculated old guy gets all hot and bothered as he watches his clearly drugged out wife dancing by herself in the kitchen.  A cruel smirk comes over his face, he starts to growl and, because he took nine Cialis pills earlier that morning, he knows that in nine minutes he and his zonked out wife will be in their bathtubs, drinking wine, looking out over the Grand Canyon which happens to be their backyard.

But I digress. If anyone cares, here are some random thoughts on this election: 

Did anyone happen to see Sarah Palin anywhere?  Was she negotiating some treaty with Russia?    

What the hell is with Florida?  Don’t they know how to count down there?

They have got to stop calling it “absentee voting.”  By now, everyone knows you can just walk in, check a box and no one will ever ask you where you are going on your “vacation.”  Just officially call it “early voting” once and for all and eliminate the confusion.

I’m so pleased that those yahoos in West Virginia failed in their attempt to deny us here in Mount Vernon the opportunity to cross the river and gamble away our kid’s tuition money. 

Now that two states have actually legalized non-medical marijuana, can my friends in those states legally ship me a few joints?        

If you supported Obama, didn’t you get a very quesy feeling when, after the race was called by everyone including Fox, the Romney folks announced they were not conceding Ohio and then someone mentioned that Romney’s kid owned the voting booths in that state?    

I think it was OUTRAGEOUS that Obama did not thank Bill Clinton during his victory speech.  Clinton saved Obama’s butt.    

Can we now refocus our collective energies and get some cell phone towers in Mount Vernon? 

A big shout out to the wackos in the Tea Party. Just keep nominating your buddies in those primaries!      

Okay, I admit I’m a wimp — I got goose bumps when Obama said he will personally meet with Romney after the election. 

Just confirming what we all know:white people cannot dance. Did you see some of them in Obama’s audience trying to shake that thing? Fortunately, the bros took up the slack. 

The most common complaint heard at our polling station was “Why do we have to have instructions in Spanish?”  Yeah, that’s looking towards the future, huh?  

Hats off to Brian Moran, the Chairman of the Democratic Party, for busting his butt all across the state and for keeping us Dems informed. And now he has to get ready for the Governor’s race next year.   

Congrats to the folks in Huntington who will finally get their levee to stop the flooding. The bond measure passed overwhelmingly. One wonders why it had to take this long?     

Note to Ron: send thank you note to Chris Christie for helping elect Obama.

So much for that “Redskins Curse” which said that when they lose the Sunday before the election, the party out of power wins. Or was it vice versa? Actually, who the hell cares? 

Have both candidates spent every dime of the gazillions that they raised?  If they have some money left in the petty cash drawer, why not send it to New Jersey? 

Hillary vs. Biden in 2016? Will the GOP nominate anyone?

Finally, if Fairfax is looking for more tax revenue, why not look to the porn industry in Los Angeles?  It seems that Los Angeles passed an ordinance requiring adult film actors to wear a condom during sex. The industry is outraged and is threatening to leave the City of Angels for a more amenable spot. I think County Chair Sharon Bulova needs to get on her plane and start wooing them to Fairfax.  Hey, if it keeps my tax bill lower, what the hell?