Spring always makes me think of students getting accepted to college or grad school. It’s the time of year when families decide whether to re-enroll their child at their current school or move to a new district. In short, it’s the time of year when a lot of people make big decisions. So how do you handle to process leading up to big decision making? There are a lot of different ways to go, and this couple can vouch for that.
She Said: I know I usually describe myself as the more organized, prone-to-planning half of this duo, but for some reason when it comes to big decisions, that all goes out the window. I lose the ability to be precise or make a plan and just kind of wave the white flag. The truth is, major decisions like where to live or what big purchases to make kind of intimidate me, so I end up covering my eyes until the last minute. When push comes to shove, I make the choice, but I leave things up to fate until the final second. When I moved into a new apartment awhile back, I needed a new bed, but couldn’t figure out if I wanted something cheap and temporary or wanted to finance a major purchase and pony up for an expensive mattress, box-spring and frame. I couldn’t decide, so I ended up sleeping on an Aerobed for two months. Some semi-sleepless nights and a many backaches later, I finally bit the bullet and went to Sears.
He Said: In the past, I’ve definitely come off as the go-with-the-flow member of this couple. I am usually more casual about things than my wife and a tad less organized, but when it comes to the big decisions in our world I become Mr. Concrete and Take Charge. I don’t know what it is about something major looming, but all of the sudden, I’m inspired to take an active step toward wise decision making. I make pro and con lists, conduct extensive research; the whole nine yards. Once upon a time when I was trying to decide on grad school programs, I made an extensive grid, assigned point values to different schools and geographic characteristics and tabulated the results. When it comes to ruling on something weighty, all of my chilled out tendencies seem to fade into the background. I don’t know if I’m polarizing to balance out my “put it off until the last minute” wife, or if I’m just wired this way. Either way, it’s how I tend to cope when a major decision is on the horizon.
If you’re a “let’s just wait and see how things go” type of person and you’re in a relationship with someone who grabs the bull by the horns and charges toward important responsibility, things could get a little dicey at home. The most important thing is to figure out who you are and how you handle things and give your other half a little space in that department. And it never hurts to move a little closer to center; it makes it easier to grab hands with the person you love.